Melica Niccole

What is your name?

My name is Viviana Cecilia, and my lastname is Moyano.  My internet name is “Saironwen” is a name in the languege of the Lord of the Rings, and I been using it since i was 15 years old! 

What inspires  you?

A lot of things inspire me. When I’m outside, I notice the birds, the sky, the trees…I feel like everything has a story to tell, and I want to capture it in my paintings. When I’m home, I’m inspired by a good story, whether it’s a book, a movie, or something a loved one says or does.

What makes you unique?

Oh, that’s a hard one. I think it’s my resilience. It’s what has allowed me to grow and become who I am today. It also shapes how I see the world: I try to find inspiration in small things, because sometimes it is the only thing accessible. And I’m always trying to reinvent myself and keep improving.

When did you become an Illustrator? 

I became an illustrator when I was around 31. I went through a period of severe depression (what I later understood as autistic burnout) which led me to leave my studies and career in business management, as I was experiencing panic attacks that made it difficult to leave my house, not to mention work!

I started painting after my older brother gave me a watercolor palette and some paper, and something just clicked. For the first time, I felt a sense of purpose again. I realized I could draw my ideas and communicate my feelings through my work, and over time I improved both my skills and my ability to manage my symptoms.

What made you want to Illustrate people’s work?

I was always the breadwinner in my family, so I needed to make a living, and I genuinely enjoyed illustrating stories. I started studying storytelling, practicing concept art, and creating series of illustrations around the same theme to build the consistency an illustrator needs. Once I felt comfortable enough and confident in my skills, I took the leap and started working professionally.

There’s also a more personal reason. I discovered this career later in life, after going through a crisis, and it made me think about how many people are trying to rebuild themselves in similar ways. That’s why I like to support my clients as much as I can, and why I try to keep my prices accessible, you never know who might be on the other side of the screen, taking their first steps toward becoming themselves.

Can you tell us more about your self and in what ways have you connected with the New Face of Disabilities Part 2: A Psychosocial Perspective? 

In my family, there has been a long history of mental illness. My grandmother and my mother were both bipolar, and they struggled with anxiety, depression, and manic episodes. At the time, there were very few tools available, and these issues were often handled with shame and secrecy.

When I began struggling with my own depression and anxiety, and later discovered that I am autistic, I started learning more and making these experiences visible. I began speaking openly about my struggles, my journey to diagnosis, and the idea that being autistic is a disability, but not something wrong or shameful.

This year, I was also diagnosed with endometriosis, another invisible disability. My diagnosis came late, partly because my autistic interoception made me normalize a level of pain that wasn’t actually normal. Now, I’m also trying to raise awareness and help others understand that living in constant pain shouldn’t be normalized.

Is there any additional information you would like to share (Coping techniques, resources, etc)?

There are things in life that bring us joy. For me, art is one of them, so I try to build my daily life around it. I try to paint every day, because it makes me happy, helps me relax, slows my breathing, and lowers my stress and anxiety. When those are low, I feel more capable of dealing with everything life brings.

Sometimes that’s not enough, and if you need psychiatric or psychological help, that’s valid too. During my first years of burnout, I had to take medication until we found what worked for me. I also go to therapy when I’m going through major events, so I can better sort my feelings.

I go for walks in nature whenever I can, and I try to make sure the people around me feel safe, because masking all the time is exhausting. I also have ear defenders for when the world is too loud, and i’m starting to learn when my body is so tired, and I need to rest, that  it’s ok “not being productive” all the time.

Thank you so much for the space! I also wanted to add that I really enjoyed painting this book… most of the illustrations were very cathartic for me, because I had never been able to represent my feelings in that way. I hope it connects with every reader and helps them feel that they are not alone.